To every youth/young person out there reading this and hoping to or planning to get married,we must ensure that we do and strive to perform better than our parents in marriage,let’s fight that misunderstanding,fight those arguments,fight those quarrels,stand against those exchange of fists and stand against those negative verbal exchange of words,fight against extra marital affairs,cheating,
Have the mind set that “This Marriage Must Stand” no matter the arguments,or quarrels or misunderstandings. some of us come from polygamous families and homes,broken homes,unstable families but we must not allow that to be transferred into our own marriages,my heart weeps for the way I see some marriages get shaken to its legs and becomes unstable and in some cases leads to downfall(divorce) and children from such homes grow up to have their own families and end up having same broken homes,
No matter how good things are with your family(your parents)you should make up your mind to be have a better marriage,Be Better Husbands and Better wives,Be responsible caring and loving fathers,husbands,mothers and wives. Aspire to conquer in those areas we see our fathers and mothers failing in marriage and the lapses they have,for some of us our parents have failed in communication with themselves in word and in action,(some men travel without informing their wives’ that they are traveling and where they are traveling to and return without putting a call thru or notice they are returning home)coupled with the derogatory way and manner they communicate with themselves regardless of our presence or anybody present when trying to sort out issues,and that goes a long way to affect some of us because we grow up with the thinking”since my father or mother behaved this way,that’s the same way I ought to behave but#Wrong,
As fathers and mothers that we intend to be in future we must know and understand that certain things are not meant to be discussed and said in front of our kids and for the guys Stop the habit of speaking negatively about your wife’s background and her family background in marriage,you saw all that before you married her you did not complain,say a word or decline from marrying her,you went ahead to marry her,continue with the acts of love you showed during the first periods you met each other so that twenty,fifty,sixty,seventy,hundred years in marriage if christ tarries your marriage will be firm,strong,in order and in Love,
Always seek peaceful means of resolving matters as they arise between you and your husband or wife,not with negative verbal exchange of words or by fighting,for the guys when you cultivate the habit of drawing yourself close to your children rather than pushing them all the time to their mother like some of our father’s do,you will have a better relationship with them and a better understanding of their different personalities and how to handle them. Have time for your children don’t just go out to look for money to cater for the family needs and give money to your wife and children when they need it,have personal time with your children,know them personally,
Children long for the presence,time and attention of their father’s,they long for bonding with their father’s not just their mothers only,they need to be taught how to make decisions and how things are done,else they’ll be influenced negatively from their peers or friends. All these can be achieved really not just by making physical efforts but by also making spiritual efforts by praying,
Pray continuously for your family as you make those physical efforts to achieve your set goals and targets for your family,prayers do for man what he cannot achieve with his own physical abilities,so as you work and make physical efforts towards having a beautiful and blessed home pray along also commit every physical efforts you have made into the hands of the Almighty God and he will bring your heart desires to you. Cheers
Written by Warepamor Sammy
Follow on twitter @WarepamorSammy
Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, so there are some qualities men look out for in searching for the woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with, I have explained a few of these notable qualities below, such as:
LOVE: Men look out for women who love them truly for who they are, despite their flaws and short comings and inadequacies(this is not to say that men are happy with their flaws, short comings and inadequacies and don’t feel the need or see reasons to change or improve on them) they are not complacent. They desire women who love them not because of what they have acquired, or what they(the women) stand to benefit from the man i.e. money, power, fame, authority etc.
Men also look out for women who will love them indeed and in return for the love they have shown and given to them(the women) and also women who will love their family members as this will foster peace, love and unity between the man, his wife and their families.
RESPECT: Men love women who talk, address and treat them with respect at home and in public. They love to be shown respect in the presence of their family, friends, her friends and in the presence of their children, men also love women who don’t look down on them and compare them with other men.
ABILITY TO COOK: As it is commonly said ” The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. Every man loves women who can cook and are happy to have as a wife a woman who is good at cooking I mean not just cooking ordinarily but cooking tastefully,deliciously and able to serve the meal decently, this puts happiness in the family paves way for the man to be able to happily and proudly invite his friends home to savour his wife’s good cooking.
HUMILITY: As a woman, you are expected to be humble generally as a person and be humble towards your husband, his family and your family. Let humility be felt in your manner of conversation and communication, character, attitude and behaviour. Nothing takes off a man’s attention from a woman than when she is full of Pride and arrogance and tries to equate herself to the position of the husband as the head of the family. That is a complete turn off.
A GOOD LISTENER: A woman who has a listening ear and pays keen attention to the voice and directives of her husband is a Great bundle of joy to her husband, she is obedient to the voice of her husband which makes her well detailed and informed about the on goings in the family, she doesn’t make decisions without the consent, knowledge and permission of her husband.
UNDERSTANDING: Women that are “understanding” are the heart desire’s of all men, women who understand the times and season, when conditions and situations are pleasant and unpleasant, times when the storms of life surface unexpectedly. Men also love to know that the woman they are in love with understands their personality, moods, character, attitudes and understand their families(his family and her’s) and family backgrounds not just knowing them, because this will foster peaceful living in happiness between the husband, wife and their families.
PRAYERFUL: A Family that prays together stays together. Men love to know that the woman they are going to spend the rest of their lives with are committed to praying, always committing the family and the affairs of the family into the hands of the able and almighty God, women who turn to God in prayers for wisdom, knowledge, understanding and direction and commit whatever situations as they arise rather than just nagging, complaining and murmuring.
DISCIPLINE: Men love women who are disciplined in word and in character, women who are disciplined enough to know not to spend above what the man is earning, women who would not leave the upbringing of their children in the hands of an house help or house maid and would not tolerate decadence in her children but discipline and correct them when they go wrong and make decisions in accordance to her husband’s will.
ONE WHO IS NOT A TALKATIVE: Women who are talkatives are a complete turnoff to most men because most often they talk so much and fail in listening to the voice of their husbands. Women who also have no control over their mouths, one that is loose with her tongue in speaking and goes about discussing private family issues with all and sundry and gossips are a displeasure to most men.
WELL BEHAVED: Men love women who are well behaved right from their father’s house and in public, women who comport and conduct themselves properly in the presence of family and friends and not women who pretend to be well behaved around the man and in front of his eyes in order to get his attention and then turn around to be someone entirely different when he is not around, she must be able to take care of the home decently, neatly and in a well tidied manner.
Follow on twitter:@WarepamorSammy
Written By: Warepamor Sammy
Follow me on twitter @WarpamorSammy
While you’re waiting for that special person God has prepared for you, there is a need for you to learn and possess certain virtues that will help while in marriage. These virtues will help in preserving and keeping strong your marriage. They are:
You need this virtue in times when things don’t work out as planned in marriage, when there is a delay in expected outcomes in every area of marriage, when you’ve put in all efforts and it seems results are not forthcoming and when you have expectations from your spouse and it’s not forth coming as it ought to in certain areas of your marriage.
Even while raising and taking care of children, you need to exercise patience in handling, instructing, directing, advising, encouraging and correcting them. Some children are slow learners and will need extra time and attention to be given to them before they can grasp what is being taught to them. If you lack patience your efforts will be highly frustrated and fruitless in marriage.
Patience is waiting for your own time to get married and not getting married because your friends/age mates are getting married.
This is one virtue you will definitely need because you will be living with an entirely different person with a different mindset, different ways and approaches of doing things. A person with a different way of life, different beliefs and understanding of how things should be done, a person with standards higher than or below yours, a person with a different background.
So while you work towards bringing understanding between you and your spouse and change in unpleasant behaviours, Be Tolerant!
Many of us as singles have high altitudes of anger level that we can say and do anything to anyone when we are angry. We unleash such high altitude of anger on family and friends without control. But my dear, when you lack control over your anger you can say such derogatory and depressing words that might not heal or might take longer time to heal in the heart of your spouse.
Words are powerful and can do great harm. Proverbs 18:21 says “Death and Life are in the power of the tongue, they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof”.
Your actions too can cause irreparable damage if not controlled. It is advisable to think of how best to handle the situation rather than being sorry for an irreparable damage caused, Proverbs 16:32 says, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that hath rule over his spirit than he that has taken a city”.
Having control over your anger will help you solve the problem better than retaliating, exchange of words, using force and physical strength (fighting) upon each other. Ecclesiastes 7:9 Says “Be not hasty in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools”.
For the ladies, have enough self control not to confront your husband with fights and have a restraint on what you say when you are angry. For the guys, no matter what your wife says to you in anger, it is absolutely, completely, entirely and totally wrong to beat a woman and particularly your wife for that matter.
We all possess weaknesses in different areas of our lives. Understanding eases communication and the flow of love and peace in the family, Prov. 4:7 says “wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom and with all thy getting, get Understanding”.
Knowing and understanding the weaknesses of your spouse should enable you to support and encourage your spouse in order to strengthen those weaknesses he/she possesses. It might be a deficiency in knowledge or skill your spouse has that you are better informed in. You can teach your spouse in other to sharpen that weak point he/she has to become a strong point for him/her. it should be used for the benefit of the two of you as one.
Every gift, talent, knowledge, idea, skill that you possess, that you have gained while you are single should be beneficial to your spouse. You are to complement each other with your strengths and strengthen each other’s weaknesses. In addition, understanding the moods, temperament and personality of your spouse yields better communication between husbands and wives, it will enable you know when and how to present certain sensitive topics for discussion as matters arise within the family in marriage.
WILLINGNESS TO LEARN:
Be open to learn! You will be getting married to a person who has a different approach to getting things done. Don’t say, “No, I can’t do it that way. That’s not how I was taught to do it” or “That’s not how I was brought up to do it”.
For the ladies, you may end up marrying a man whose culture is different from yours and so you are going to learn how to prepare different types of foods and ways to serve them. Besides, even if you are of the same tribe and culture, there will still exist differences in ways and understanding of doing things. As it is said, no knowledge is a waste. Knowing how to do a particular thing in different ways becomes an advantage to you.
Everything you’ve learnt while single will be useful to you in marriage and you keep learning and growing in knowledge after getting married. Knowledge gained can also be used to teach others and make meaningful impact in their lives.
A family that Prays together stays together. Sir/Ma, Prayer is the key. Prayer does in the spiritual what man cannot achieve in the physical and brings desired results to the physical. Prayer goes a long way to influence and bring about a positive change, so while you are yet single, be prayerful!
Matt 21:22 says, “And in all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer believing, ye shall receive”. Do you want to bring about a desired outcome in the life of your husband/wife?, pray about it, take it to God in prayers. Whatever that is not going well or needs to get better than what it is, pray about it. Mark 11:24 says “Therefore I say unto you, What things so ever you desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them and ye shall have them”. Don’t just talk, nag and complain about it “Prayers do for man what he cannot achieve with his physical abilities”. Cultivate the habit of praying rather than murmuring, talking, nagging and complaining about it. The need to be prayerful cannot be overemphasized and exhausted. Prayer Changes things!
Humility takes a man to the top. James 4:10 says, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and he shall lift you up”. As future husbands and wives that we intend to be, we must learn to humble ourselves before our spouses, humble ourselves in character, in behaviour and in words (Speech). Be humble to those older than you, 1 Peter 5:5 says, “Likewise ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder, Yea, all of you be subject one to another and be clothed with humility, for God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble”. Prov. 15:25 says, “The Lord will destroy the house of the proud but he will establish the border of the widow”.
Be humble to those whose authority we are under, be humble to our parents Ephesians 6:1-2 says, “Children obey your parents in the sight of the Lord for this is right, Honour your father and mother which is the first commandment with promise”.
Ladies, submit to your husbands and be humble to your husbands. Guys, be humble to your wives! Ephesians 5:21 says, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God”. Above it all, be humble as a person, 1Peter 5:6 says, “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time”.
In life, we meet different kinds of people. Some become our friends, close pals or best friends. In one way or the other, they end up offending and hurting us with their words and actions, either knowingly or unknowingly. Sometimes, we even get hurt or offended by family members and at times, these offenses come on daily basis.
I have been offended and hurt so many times that I’ve lost count and I know there are extreme cases of getting hurt and offended as bad as involving life and death, cases involving huge loss of money, properties etc. However, in all of these, we should still find it in our hearts to forgive. I know it is hard and difficult, yes I know and I understand it is hard to let go. I know what it feels like, the mental torture and emotional pain I’ve been there before bro, it is difficult and seems nearly impossible to forgive in some cases but still, it can be done.
Someone said to me today that it is easier for God to forgive because He is God but I said no we can forgive also, we are the express images of God and He has given us the Grace to forgive. All we need to do is ask Him for more Grace and strength to forgive and it will be done. If we understand and have it in mind that we are alive today because of God’s mercies; He forgave us our wrongs yesterday, an hour ago, a minute ago; and He forgives us no matter what we have done to offend him. Even when we reject and turn our backs on Him, He forgives us, not because we open our mouths to say, “Lord, forgive me”. The Bible says, even before we open our mouths to speak, he has heard us, so we have it in us to forgive. Also, Matt 6:14-15 says, “For if we forgive men their trespasses, our heavenly father will also forgive us, but if we don’t forgive, neither will God forgive us our trespasses”.
Many years ago, I would have taken a regretful step in life, but The Almighty and All Knowing God saw the path of destruction, I was heading towards with the evil and disastrous plan of revenge and retaliation I had in mind. He saved me and He told me to forgive from his words in Mark 11:25, “And when ye stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone that your father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses”. Years later, a friend of mine said to me, “Prepare your heart to forgive even before the hurt comes, so that way, it will be easier to forgive”.
Your husband or wife-to-be might offend you or probably hurt you with their words or actions intentionally or unintentionally, I’m saying this to you, “Prepare your mind to forgive even before the hurt comes so that way it will be easier to forgive”. The devil is breaking homes and destroying families through un-forgiveness, bitterness and anger but let these not be named among you. You deserve a Blessed and Peaceful home and a happy family so let peace flow and let forgiveness reign in your hearts.
May God give you the Grace and Strength to forgive when you are hurt so that peace may flow in your hearts like a river in Jesus name, Amen.
Thank You♥ for taking time out to read this article. Please feel free to leave your comments on how these tips have been helpful and meaningful to you. Please like it and share it everywhere on twitter, facebook, bbm or send to a friend via e-mail. Once again, thank you and God Bless You! Follow on twitter:@WarepamorSammy
Written By: Sammy Warepamor